Collaborative Superhero Story

This is a story that John Carvajal and I wrote together concerning the lives of our superhero friends. We were given a poster with the choice to include any of the characters pictured, so we chose Silver Samurai and Carnage, because they are badasses.

It is early morning. Silver Samurai and Carnage have just returned from a long night of creating chaos to bond over brunch. Silver Samurai recently took some cooking lessons as a hobby, and is anxious to show off his recently developed skills. They walk into their loft apartment, and silver samurai heads into the kitchen, ties an apron around his waist and gets to work. Meanwhile, Carnage gets busy doing the Villain Post’s daily crossword puzzle.

He asks, “Hey, what’s a five letter word for ‘everyone loves it’?”

“Hmmmm…..CHAOS!” Silver Samurai responds as he shakes the hand that is holding the spatula in the air, “Oh, and how do you want your eggs?”

Carnage, being very particular about his breakfast food, states “Over easy, but MAKE SURE that the yolk is runny, that’s my favorite.”

“Yeah yeah, don’t worry about it, I took a class especially for making over easy eggs,” Silver samurai dismissively assures him.

With that, he gets back to cooking, and the two chat about the chaos they had created the night before.

“I can’t BELIIIIIIEVE the look on Spider Man’s face when we demolished that bank!” Carnage chuckles.

Silver Samurai laughs along as he cracks the eggs into the hot pan, remarking “Yeah man, that was perfect.”

“We make such an epic evil team silver Samurai, heh heh, MUCH better than when I was with venom, that wuss.”

“A great night of pillaging, sharing this sweet bachelor pad with my bro, and now a delicious breakfast- what more could we ask for?”

“Nothing, man. We are living the high life.” Carnage agrees.

Silver Samurai laughs, and turns back to the pan. With horror, he sees that he has left the eggs over the heat for too long, and the yolks of Carnage’s eggs have solidified. Unsure of what to do, and too proud to admit his cooking mistake, he decides to serve them anyways. They were having a great morning, “He will understand,” Silver Samurai cheerfully thinks to himself. With that, he places the eggs on a clean china dish, pours a freshly brewed cup of coffee, and butters some toast (which is slightly burnt) and delivers the carefully crafted meal to Carnage, who has almost completed the crossword.

“Wow Silver Samurai, looks like those classes are paying off!” He grabs the toast, “Oh, I mean, this toast is a little crispy, but HEY I’m sure the eggs are perfect. MMM I can’t wait.”

With that, Carnage decides to dip the toast in his egg yolks. His face turns cold, as he pokes the center of the egg with the hardened bread and realizes that his yolks are not runny!!!!!! He clears his throat, “Silver Samurai. My egg yolks…are not runny.”

Silver Samurai, who was busy preparing his own plate, didn’t hear the remark. “What’s that, Carnage?” he sings.

Carnage’s face begins to contract in utter anger. “I SAID,” he throws his coffee mug at the wall and it shatters, “MY EGG YOLKS ARE NOT RUNNYYYYYYYYY!” He stands up, and sweeps everything off of the table with incredible force with both of his arms. Silver Surfer turns around in shock to see Carnage standing over the table, and glaring at him.

“Well I wouldn’t be so tired if YOU had held up your part of the deal, done the job, and gotten us back here on time!” Silver Samurai shouts.

They continue to hurl insults at one another, until a physical fight breaks out. The two romp for a full twenty four hours. All day and all night they shouted, destructed, and completely obliterated their loft apartment. They began strong, but slowly became tired, and by sunrise the next morning the were both laying on the floor, and could only muster enough strength to toss small pieces of rubble at one another.

“Uhhhhhhhhh…” Carnage moaned pathetically, “Silver Samurai…I’m….HUNGRY uuuuuuhhhh.” He clutched his stomach, curled up in a ball, and rocked gently from side to side. “Can you like, make me some eeeeggggs?” He whimpered.

Silver Samurai lifted his head, and saw the sorry state that the apartment was in. He too, was hungry, and wanted to resolve the conflict. However, their kitchen was gone, and he did not want to risk another egg mishap.

“Hey Carnage, let’s just go to that diner down the street,” he suggests. He stands, helps Carnage to his feet, and they head to the diner.

One their food arrives, Silver Samurai excitedly takes an enormous bite of his pancakes. Suddenly, he stops chewing, and says, “I…asked for BLUEBERRIES in the pancakes, and these are CHOCOLATE CHIPS!” He seems furious, but then relaxed and smiles. “Eh, it’s cool. I LOVE chocolate.”

THE END